Jan 30 2009
Super Squibb wins Wing Bowl 17
It only took 30 minutes and 203 chicken wings to make “Super Squibb,” a.k.a Jonathan Squibb to the rest of the world, a Philadelphia legend. The 23-year-old Berlin, New Jersey resident entered Wing Bowl 17 with 9-1 odds of winning the event, which were 14th best out of the 27-eater field. By the end of the 30-minute competition, Super Squibb had run away with the crown. For his tremendous eating exploits, Super Squibb won a 2009 Mini Clubman, a $7,500 diamond Wing Bowl 17 championship ring, and most importantly, a crown decorated with miniature chickens. Not a bad haul for eating insane amounts of chicken wings on the Friday morning before the Super Bowl.
It’s also incredible that Squibb took home the title after originally failing to qualify. He originally failed to complete his qualifying stunt of eating six pounds of cottage cheese because he was asked to come in immediately due to time slot logistics instead of having the usual one week to prepare. Fortunately, Squibb was given another shot to pursue greatness, and with the one week preparation time, he finished off six pounds of cottage cheese in under 2 minutes and 30 seconds. The rest is history.
For those of you that unfortunately have never experienced Wing Bowl, think of it as Mardi Gras, but with a bunch of guys eating chicken wings, 20,000 Philadelphia Eagles fans and countless strippers. It’s debauchery at its finest. The eating portion of the even consists of two 14-minute segments followed by a two-minute final sprint with the scores carrying over to each round. After the first 14-minute round, the contestant pool is whittled down to the top 10 eaters. After the second 14-minute round, only the top five eaters advance. Then there is a two-minute lightning round and whoever has eaten the most wings is the champion. Additionally, contestants are disqualified if they vomit. If you heave, you leave. Unlike the previous five Wing Bowls, which featured professional eaters, Wing Bowl 17 was only open to amateur eaters from the Philadelphia-area. Personally, I thought this year’s installment was the most entertaining Wing Bowl since Wing Bowl 13.
After the first round, the race was extremely tight. Super Squibb led with 103 wings, but Hank the Tank was a close second with 100 wings, with Not Rich (98 wings), Officer Beast (90 wings), and Frank De Fraud also in striking distance. However, pre-competition favorites Damaging Doug, Gentleman Jerry, Chicken Caesar, Dan the Prop, Pot Pie the Sailor Man, Arson Arnie, and The Eating Machine all failed to advance. Hank the Tank was the only competitor that Angelo Cataldi and Co. expected to reach the second 14 minute period.
However, Super Squibb blew away the competition with a phenomenal second round that ran his total up to 195 wings and essentially secured the Wing Bowl title. His closest challenger, Not Rich, had only devoured 173 wings. Hank the Tank (145 wings), Da Disposal (141 wings), and Cadillac Corrigan (129 wings) had no shot of catching Not Rich, let alone making any sort of run at Super Squibb. The highlight of round 2 was when both Obi Wing and Officer Beast both puked and were subsequently eliminated from competition.
After the final two minutes, Super Squibb had secured his place in history. He had inhaled 203 wings, which was 23 more than Not Rich, 50 more than both Hank the Tank and Da Disposal, and 71 more than Cadillac Corrigan. If there was a Mount Rushmore plus one for Wing Bowl, Super Squibb’s performance would put him up there in the company of legends like five-time Wing Bowl champion (Wing Bowls 7, 9, 10, 11, 13) and Wing Bowl Hall of Famer Bill “El Wingador” Simmons, three-time champion (Wing Bowls 14, 15, 16) Joey Chestnut, two-time champion (Wing Bowls 2 and 3) Kevin “Heavy Keavy” O’Donnell, and the winner of the first Wing Bowl Carmen “The Beast From the East” Cordero.
While it wasn’t the closest finish, it was more exciting than watching Joey Chestnut cruise to three straight dominating wins where nobody else even had a shot. Super Squibb also became the fourth man ever to break the 200 wing plateau. Chestnut (241), Patrick Bertoletti (227), and five-time Wing Bowl champion and Wing Bowl Hall of Famer Bill “El Wingador” Simmons (205) each eclipsed the magical mark at Wing Bowl 16. I’m definitely looking forward to the next year’s showdown between Chestnut and Squibb. Although, as good as Squibb is, I’m not sure if he’ll be able to hang with Chestnut or even Bertoletti.
However, it’s not all about the eating. Wing Bowl is also known for its pagentry. Each contestant has his own float and entourage than accompany him on a lap around the rink prior to taking the stage for competition. Like every year, some floats stand out more than others. One eater, Below Me, had a relatively simple float that consisted of him sitting at a table with two Wingettes (a.k.a. strippers) and a sign above him that said “Below Me.” What made his entrance fantastic was the fact that there were inflatable women attached to the sign and that he and his entourage threw the sex toys into the crowd. Then there was the Eating Machine, who came in on top of a giant box with two strippers and a midget. He then proceeded to pop out of the box wearing only underwear, which he subsequently took off. As a result, the only thing that kept the Eating Machine modest was a strategically placed sock. There was also a contestant named the Acidic Jew, who was dressed as a Hasidic Jew and came out reading prayers. The contestant who won the award for best float and entourage was Gentleman Jerry. His float was dedicated to the Spectrum and also featured all of the great Philadelphia teams. Gentleman Jerry, who has now won the award for best float and entourage three times, was also dressed as Kate Smith while riding a replica of the Spectrum. Only in Philadelphia.
There were also a few celebrity sightings at Wing Bowl 17. Eagles’ fullback Kyle Eckel and former Middleweight champion Bernard “The Executioner” Hopkins were hanging out in the Pink Vodka Box. New Orleans Saints offensive lineman and Philadelphia native Jahri Evans and Pennsylvania Supreme Court Justice Seamus McCaffery (i.e. the judge who presided over the constitutionally questionable court that was convened in the basement of Veterans Stadium during Philadelphia Eagles games) were also in attendance. Toastee from VH1’s “Flavor of Love 2″ and “I Love Money” was a Wingette. Finally, the Phillies’ World Series Trophy was in the house and probably received the loudest applause, excluding the occasions that various women flashed the mostly male crowd.
At this point, it seems apparent that a new era of consumption at Wing Bowl is upon us. From here on out, it’s pretty clear that if you want to win Wing Bowl, you’re going to need to polish off at least 200 wings. Gluttony is very much alive and well in the City of Brotherly Love.
